[7/8] Part of a larger story that starts here.

After I had reached out to Adam, I sent him everything that Brenda had sent to me just in case she might have omitted some details of what had happened. I told him that I could have told more people important to him (like their parents) what he had done, to warn them about what happened to me, but I didn’t. Adam called Spike, my only remaining friend at that point, and tried to pressure her for screenshots of what I had posted about him on my locked-down Twitter account. She refused to send him screenshots. He then lied to his roommate, Rose, that I had posted about her in an effort to get her to convince me to unlock my account so he could take screenshots of the tweets where I told friends about what he did. I decided it was finally time to go to the police about what happened, which I should have done from the start. Spike drove me to the station and held my hand during the report, I told them what happened and gave them any evidence, screenshots, and the pictures that he had taken of me and sent to me on our hike. Spike later told Brenda that she had helped me, and Brenda made the demand that Spike send her screenshots of what I posted about Adam on my old Twitter account. Spike planned to refuse again, but before she had a chance to reply, Brenda cut off her friendship with Spike. Brenda did this regardless of the fact that they had been friends for 20 years, and even though she was one of Spike’s only friends (and her best friend), all to protect Adam. Adam and Brenda then both stated in front of Rose that they were going to retain a lawyer, in what I assume was an effort to be intimidating, almost assuredly aware of the fact that it would get back to me. Adam clearly didn’t want anyone to know what he’d done. I felt angry, but I did not feel threatened as I had done no wrong, and I felt that they were only digging themselves deeper into a mess that they had created for themselves with their gross inconsideration. A mess that I wanted no part of.

Since he had sexually harassed me during our hike, Adam has since been playing the role of the victim to mutual friends, and Brenda has been feigning innocence while claiming that she was also a victim of his actions and helplessly caught in the middle, all the while supporting and, in some cases, even helping Adam. What is most striking to me is that her manipulative behavior was ultimately so similar to his. She has done her best to support and protect him through everything, while making me look like some kind of liar and trying to discredit my story.

In April of 2019, Adam waited until I was out of the country to once again start attending the DC217 meetings, taking over my last safe space. Though he had previously stated that he had no plans to attend DC217 according to Brenda, as he “didn’t want to make me feel unsafe” which she thought “was kind of him”. He was welcomed by the founder of the group and other members despite being semi-banned (not allowed while I am there). Though this was further proof that Adam felt no remorse for his actions and was merely trying to corral the group and earn sympathy, and nobody seemed the wiser. We had an unspoken agreement, I stayed away from CU2600 giving Adam and Brenda their group and space, and he stayed away from DC217. This however, did not seem good enough for him as he quickly claimed both spaces when I left the country. I felt betrayed by the group and by the people I cared about, for welcoming my abuser into their midst, even if DC217 claimed to be open and a free area for all. It is not open to all if predators are invited in where they might hunt or otherwise find new people to victimize. I felt worried for the safety of any other college-aged female attending DC217 and I wasn’t going to allow Adam a free range for his hunt. In my mind, it was time to come out with this story.

I won’t state who, but somebody other than myself in DC217 contacted UIUC and let them know that Adam should not be let around young female students. Despite this, he will have access to whoever attends CU2600.

With this sudden desire to come back to DC217 (as soon as I had started to feel comfortable in what I had deemed a safe environment), I felt things were a bit sketchy and decided that if my abuser is going to be allowed to frequent these meetings, it is not a safe environment for me, or any young woman. Even if the intention of letting Adam back was to “keep an eye on Adam and his behavior”, it is a decision that should have included me.

Sometime between May and July, I received a call from The Urbana Police Department, and an officer decided to ask me if I had access to Adam’s information, informing me that Adam had accused me of leaking his information. I let him know that my attorney would be contacting him in my stead and that I would not answer any questions. The mantra in our community of “shut the fuck up and get a lawyer” even if you’re innocent, is thankfully imprinted on my brain. This was dangerous for me, as my father is an immigrant and although he is now a full-fledged American citizen, in this current political climate things are dangerous. I found out that Adam had given them my brother’s address and they had showed up on his doorstep to ask for me. When I filed a report against Adam it was for sexual harassment and stalking, after he had admitted what he had done to me. When Adam filed against me, it was without proof and out of spite to silence me.

I will not be silenced.